Alaska Airlines from Akron-Canton Airport to Boise

O travellers! As we navigate this labyrinthine world of online flight booking - a world as confusing and treacherous as being asked to differentiate between 50 shades of white in an Alaskan winter timeshare presentation - allow me to present a route filled with irony and bemusement. "Why, where are we going?" I hear you cry. Well, gather your baggage allowance, and strap on your finest eye mask, for we are headed on a journey from Akron-Canton to Boise via Alaska.

Now, before you reach for the phones to call your nearest geography teacher crying out "But aren't we going in the wrong direction?", calm your befuddlement. Yes, we are going from Ohio to Idaho via Alaska, akin to going to the Bahamas via Siberia - unnecessarily long, possibly frostbitten but undoubtedly the stuff of unbeatable travel anecdotes. The very essence of being one of those ‘authentic and experienced’ travelers we keep hearing about.

The beauty of this route lies not in the direct flights, oh no. The allure is in the extravagant escapade this layover in the ‘Last Frontier’ provides. As Alaska Airlines's frequent flyer mileage program amply rewards your detour, we raise our complimentary business-class toasts to such glorious roundaboutness. And please, while we savour our wild Alaskan salmon in-flight services, let's engage in a light discussion about Alaska's delightful absurdities (Your random piece of trivia today: Alaska's coast, if stretched, could wrap around the entire continental United States with extra to spare. Try not to drop your Alaskan King Crab.)

Step off the plane into Anchorage, the city that confidently straddles two worlds: Urbanity with a side of moose, or was that the other way round? No matter, we have a layover to squander! Try the sparklingly clean (by airport standards) restrooms, or play 'spot the grizzly bear' from the viewing deck. (Spoiler: It's usually a tired traveler).

Next, hop onto the connecting flight. Now the Alaska-Boise leg presents an absolute myriad of choices. But why settle for anything less than the whimsical red-eye flight, a term that chiefly serves as a metaphor for personal regret? And if you happen to stumble upon any last-minute flights offer, promptly disregard it. Cheap flights, my fellow wanderluster, are but a mirage. The elusive Chupacabra of our times. A Bigfoot lingering in the unexplored Alaskan wilderness.

O travelers, may I remind you, take heed of the oddly ominous flight cancellation policy. While the gleaming fine print may casually announce 'terms and conditions apply', it truly translates to 'May the odds be ever in your favour'. So, when is the best time to book? Yesterday. Or at the butt-crack of dawn precisely 28.5 days before your departure, under a waxing gibbous moon. Or whenever Mercury is not in retrograde, which your horoscope will reliably inform.

As frost floods the windows and encroaches upon our view of the illuminative Northern Lights, you’ve arrived at Boise. Boise, the city that greets you with a warmth, a simplicity so contrasting to the vast open tundra you left behind. Weary traveler, as you lay your head upon another unfamiliar pillow and dream of mountains yet to climb, rest assured you've traveled and traveled well.

And there it is my friends, a journey via Alaska – a trip that looks less like your traditional A-to-B and more like your A-to-F-via-L-and-halfway-to-Q before stumbling into B with an endearing "Where did the time go?" look on your face. Not the commuter's choice, not the route for the logical but the voyage for the ones who seek tales told over campfires and laughs shared below twinkling stars. Defying the norms, we embrace the absurd, for my perceptive fellow passengers, that is, after all, what makes the journey unforgettable.