Alaska Airlines from Edmonton to Bismarck Airport

So, you find yourself in the grand position of considering a trip from Edmonton to Bismarck Airport via Alaska, huh? Well, you'll be thrilled to hear that you are in for a barrel of laughs. Our dear friend Alaska is known for its colossal size – it’s over twice the size of Texas. Quite impressive on paper! However, in a little-known fact, it's so big that if you fold it in half, you might get lost trying to unfold it. Strapping up for this journey, it is wise to remember that humbling trivia lest the magnitude of your undertaking daunts you in Birmingham.

Here’s another serving of sarcasm for you - our blessed airline industry magicians tell us there are no “direct flights” on this route. I guess those kooky pilots still haven't quite figured out how to zip across the skies in a straight line. So, instead, you are whimsically treated to the delights of “one-way” or “round-trip” distractions via a “connecting flight” or two. They tell you it's about making the journey part of the destination. I reckon it’s more about making your watch part of a quantum mechanics experiment.

But what if I want a "non-stop" experience, you passionately argue. Not to worry, our hospitality gurus behind the "airfare" counters will strategically guide you to a “layover” at Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport. The splendid opportunity here is in embracing Alaska’s premier airport as a stopover midway in your flight duration. Oh what fun!

Here's where it gets really interesting - the "cheap flights" option. Everyone loves a good bargain, especially when it comes attached with a “red-eye flight.” The only small condition is that you might not have functioning eyes by the time you land. Still, missing the passing scenic beauty of Alaska by rude darkness seems like a small price to pay for those extra savings, right?

Well, if you are feeling adventurous or you simply love airport terminals, jump on the "last-minute flights." Not only does it introduce a wholly unnecessary level of suspense to your booking experience, but it also gives you a chance to flip a coin about whether you will arrive in time for whatever you're travelling for.

Just for giggles, let's discuss Alaska's frequent flyer “mileage program.” Think of it like a lottery ticket where you spend countless amounts on flights and, in return, you might – if the stars align just right – get a small discount on your 34th flight. Sounds like a deal sweeter than a spoonful of honey!

As for the "flight cancellation policy," well, the benevolent souls at the airlines have drafted it in a manner designed to confuse Sherlock Holmes on a good day. However, just between you and me, always assume it translates loosely to “we keep your money, you keep the air.” You’ve been warned.

You could scratch your head about the "best time to book," but let's cut to the chase: it seems to be directly influenced by the migratory patterns of unicorns, the phases of Jupiter's moons, and whether or not it's a Tuesday on a leap year. Makes perfect sense!

Last but not least, the “in-flight services.” I don't want to spoil the surprise, but prepare yourself for quite the gourmet experience between your cream cracker appetizer and dehydrated re-heated mystery dish. Fit for a king, really!

Still feeling like this adventure is for you? Fabulous! I look forward to hearing all about your slash and dash through the tiresome ticketing process, the delightful turbulence and the restful red-eyes. Safe travels and remember, a tour via Alaska is as much about the journey as it is about testing your tolerance to whimsy!