Alaska Airlines from Fort Myers, FL to Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport

Ever sat, on the edge of a nervous breakdown, contemplating your sanity on the wet tarmac of Fort Myers, Florida? Fellow wanderlusters have found the humidity of Florida to be a steep contrast to the cool dispositions of its people, making our jaunts in the sun rather...moist. Enter our protagonist in this tale: Alaska Airlines. Now, you might say, "Alaska? They're rather cold, eh?" but they offer some surprisingly heated competition to their continental counterparts and is a perfect antidote to our muggy conundrum.

One of the gastronomic delights of sizzling Fort Myers is undoubtedly its infamous, all-you-can-eat seafood buffets. This is a pure delight unless you're departing on a last-minute flight and pacing the beach, scarlet-shelled crustaceans clinging to your legs. But never fear! Alaska Airlines is suitably snobbish about its baggage allowance. Fear not, your crustacean-clad clothing is welcome aboard. Yet, do prepare to say a teary goodbye as the shells are detained at the security check - sorry, they're not considered carry-on material.

Once aboard one of Alaska's chariots in the sky, you're greeted by the glorious turbulence of the in-flight services. With enough stale coffee to warm the cockles of your heart, and insipid sandwiches to truly test your adventurous palette, your flying experience is sure to be as stimulating as a travel-sized Sudoku puzzle. An impressive mileage program generously offers enough points to take at least 0.7% off your next 'premium economy' flight with them. A true test of our loyalty, indeed.

If you’re thinking of making your trip a round-trip ordeal, brace yourself for their flight cancellation policy. Marked as ‘classified under code A12B2938ZQ’, you could spend your entire flight duration rummaging through their policy document, unearthing gems like ‘cancellations on the day of Apocalypse are non-refundable’. As for customer service, prepare for their friendly agents to swiftly give you a detailed rundown on hotel deals in Siberia when you ask about rebooking cancelled flights.

Oh, did I mention the airplane attire? Wasn’t it always your dream to appear in public looking like you've been attacked by a pack of rabid skunks? Well, folks, your dreams just came true! Shoulder pads going in different directions, trousers at an ambitious high-water level, and ties that scream ‘bold fashion statement’, Alaska Airlines' staff uniforms make quite an impression. Morale among the crew remains high – probably because they get to wear these stunning outfits every day!

But don't despair, dear sufferers of wanderlust. Your arrival at the Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport, welcomed by horse-drawn carriages, Spanish moss trees, and slightly eerie looking statues will make it all worthwhile. Or at least that’s what they claim, if you squint through the fogged-up binoculars that are custom issued to everyone disembarking at Savannah.

Now, before you dismiss Alaska Airlines as a mere folly, an oddball in the commercial aviation industry, it’s worth noting that Alaska itself comprises more than half of the entire U.S. coastline. Yes, more coastline than every other state combined! An airline hailing from such an impressive province must surely command some respect. It's possible, isn't it?

So, if you’re seeking some hearty humor on your everyday air routes, a deep appreciation of substance over style, and an unforgettable rendition of ‘what not to wear’—Alaska Airlines is your go-to choice from Fort Myers to Savannah. Buckle up, folks, for it promises to be one hell of a ride!