Alaska Airlines from Great Falls to Des Moines International Airport

Ah, air travel – the epitome of luxury and convenience – until it's not. For those masochistic adventurers willing to trade their comfort for a seat with minimal legroom and a questionably clean folding tray, you might be considering a sublime journey from Great Falls, Montana, to that cultural and gastronomic Olympus: Des Moines, Iowa. The chosen chariots of this captivating odyssey are the luminary metal birds of Alaska Airlines.

Typically enjoyed by those with exhilarating death wishes, or perhaps just a strong affinity for tiny packets of almonds and semi-compressed air, are Direct flights. Oh, the unmitigated joy of a non-stop journey crunched into a metal tube, hurtling through the sky at speeds never meant for human bodies, and all to avoid a couple of hours layover. What better way to travel?

For those more enlightened souls who dread the anatomically impossible act of sleeping upright, there's another fascinating option: Red-eye flights. These flights generously allow you to sacrifice one night's sleep for the privilege of arriving at your destination looking like a dazed raccoon, ready to fall asleep at any moment, preferably during an essential business meeting or at the wheel of a rental car.

Of course, if you're more of a hedonist and the economy class is quite literally beneath you, there's always the First-class. This is where mere human beings transform into heavenly beings, sipping on champagne and reclining in chairs that subtly emulate the experience of floating in a cloud of cotton candy. A perfect counterpoint to the deja-vu inducing, plastic-wrapped meals offered in economy.

Anyone pondering over the best time to book might be statistically inclined towards the common lore: book on Tuesday evening. However, the quirkier amongst you might want to test their luck on the stroke of midnight during a leap year. It’s not like algorithms and dynamic pricing structures have any say in airfare, right?

Now, before we move onto the exploration of Alaska Airline's in-flight services, let's bask in the enlightening random fact about the state that gave birth to this airline. Did you know that Alaska is the only U.S. state that can be typed on just one row of a standard QWERTY keyboard? You surely cannot resist an airline emerging from such a one-keyboard-row state.

Back to the promised land of in-flight services, which I'm sure are the deciding factors when choosing between international flights. Who needs trivialities like safety records, or customer ratings, or even price point, when you can browse a back-catalogue of B-rated movies, pretzels in semi-hipster packaging, and synthetic blankets simultaneously too thin and too hot?

And let us not ignore the tiny details humming beneath the surface of these magical journeys. The glamorously termed Mileage program, for instance. It's a delightful Ponzi scheme, where the more you tolerate the airline's services, the more you’re invited on board to enjoy their unique brand of hospitality. You could even get a free Round-trip ticket if you can stomach enough trips first.

To finish off, let's discuss the most theatrical aspect of any travel journey: flight cancellation policies. This cruise through the entrails of lengthy, legal jargon-filled policy documents provides the exact adrenaline rush you need before you even step on the plane. Should your flight be cancelled, you may be entitled to a refund, an unforgettable night at an airport hotel, or a thrilling game of airline customer service roulette.

So, dear weary traveler, buckle up and brace for an adventure like no other. From the geriatric mountain ranges of Great Falls to the hipster cornfields of Des Moines, Alaska Airlines is calling. Will you answer?