Alaska Airlines from Honolulu to New York Stewart International Airport

Hold on to your lei and say "aloha" to your imminent case of jetlag, because we're taking a laughably long, exotic journey from the sunny shores of Honolulu, all the way to...New York Stewart International Airport! Yes, you heard me right. Grab your hula skirt, boarding pass, and a ridiculous amount of time to spare, because we're embarking on a trip of a lifetime.

To kick things off, we're flying with none other than the 'Ice Age Express' - the illustrious Alaska Airlines. Now, here's a delightful nugget of trivia for you: while Alaska holds the title for the largest state by land area, it is ranked a comically distant 49th in population density. It's the equivalent of having an all-you-can-eat buffet and you're the only one invited! A rather lonesome banquet, wouldn’t you say?

But fear not, for on our trip to the airport, we're prepared for close contact with some unconventional aspects of Alaskan travel. We're not talking about potential sightings of caribou from your window seat or having Sarah Palin as your flight attendant – oh no - we're discussing Economy class travel with flair.

Booking a one-way ticket on Alaska Airlines from Honolulu to New York is a simple affair, just like climbing the highest peak of Mount McKinley. Jokes aside, the Best Time to Book is well before the next Alaskan gold rush gets announced. On a more practical note, their in-flight services are as arresting as the Northern Lights – or so we've been told by a cousin's dentist's brother-in-law. Who needs trustworthy airline reviews when you have good old word-of-mouth?

But what truly elevates this journey into the stratosphere of absurdity is the flight duration. When you imagine the time it would take to fly across the breadth of the country from its 50th state to New York, you might think a couple of hours, right? Try 16 long, grueling hours with at least one layover. Yes, that’s right: One layover, just like intermission at a two-part play. Only this time, we’re calling it “connecting flights” with a wry wink and a nudge of pitiful elation. You'll have enough time to watch every single episode of "Friends" and still lament about the Starbucks queue during your layover.

Our adventure reaches new heights (both literally and metaphorically) when you discover that the bargain flight deal you snagged isn't a direct flight. No, my friends, this ain't no fancy non-stop ride. Your bargain layover is technically in—drumroll, please—the City of Angels. Brace yourself for the whiplash of trading a tropical paradise for Alaskan wilderness, only to be hard-landed in the Hollywood glitz.

At this point, you might start to question whether it might have been more reasonable to book domestic flights separately to each city. But then, where's the fun in being reasonable when you can tie yourself in knots on a connecting flight? Besides, wouldn’t it be a miss to let go of experiencing a true Alaskan time warp?

Look, there's even a silver lining. With all that time in the air, you'll have an excellent opportunity to rack up your Frequent Flyer miles faster than a reindeer running from Santa. Okay, so, it's not the usual mileage program where you get one mile for one flown, but we've long thrown logic to the four winds, why stop now?

As we close this epic tale, imagine this: you, lounged in the Economy class of an Alaskan Airline, 'enjoying' your red-eye flight after flipping through Family Circle for the eighth time.

And there you have it, a grand tour from Honolulu to New York, Alaska Airlines-style. It's a whirlwind of surprises and delightful absurdity a traveler dreams to encounter, with perks such as layovers in LA and the ample opportunities to rack those frequent flyer miles, what’s not to love?

Happy flying!