Alaska Airlines from Idaho Falls Regional Airport to Bethel Airport

Oh, the sheer joy of traipsing from the scenic haven of Idaho Falls to the uber-exotic locale of Bethel, Alaska. Undeniably, throwing oneself on the mercy of the avian extravaganza we fondly dub ‘Alaska Airlines’ is the one-way - because who wouldn't want to get away to Bethel as speedily as possible - ticket to an adventure (or misadventure) of plentiful proportions.

Now, Alaska Airlines, in its unparalleled generosity, offers cheap flights - Oh yes, because everyone is simply clamoring to get to Bethel en masse! These direct flights have been thoughtfully calculated to induce minimal disruption to your sleep pattern and least interference with the deep transcendental unions you’ll no doubt form with various Duty-Free bottles of single malt Scotch.

Once aboard, sit back, indulge in the lackluster in-flight services and wrap yourself up in a snug "premium economy" (upgraded sardine can) seat: the epitome of ergonomic design. And as your personal space is diminished to Herculean proportions, most assuredly, the non-stop joie de vivre begins.

As you stretch your legs in a space that a Chihuahua would find cramped, do brace yourself to discover the wonders that await upon touchdown. Did you know that Alaska houses not one, not two, but more than a hundred volcanoes? This will no doubt warm you up to the chilled Bethel winters the moment you disembark.

Let’s also toss a dollop of praise at the airline's oh-so magnanimous baggage allowance. Indeed, offering a grand total of two check-ins per passenger, for as long as they are merely the "size of a small adult orangutan and lighter than a Pygmy Hippopotamus!" As a special bonus, expect an elaborate post-flight session of "The Vanishing Luggage" drama, complimentary of course.

To make your Bethel voyage unforgettable - assuming you don’t repress it, of course - you simply must take delightful advantage of the airline's mileage program. Remaining loyally tethered to your premium economy seat, clock up your miles with the appealing prospect of maybe, someday, potentially securing a free flight to yet another city you never dreamed of exploring. Like the charmingly unpronounceable Koyukuk maybe?

With a beaming expression, bid farewell to the usual banality of everyday life and embrace the excitement of Bethel - an arctic oasis of cultural treasure and temperatures that make the North Pole seem balmy by comparison.

If you think it would be wise to get a pre-emptive taste of Bethel's climate in the brisk Idaho Falls winter, then my friend, let me hand you a hearty dose of sarcasm. Bethel winters are nothing but a symphony of frosty breezes, where going to the grocery store could give Jack London’s ‘To Build a Fire’ a run for its money. But hey, who doesn’t love a frostbite or two to remember a place?

Without further fanfare, gather yourself, your bravery, and pack up to the nines. Dive headfirst into this chaotic adventure amalgamating economy class comfort, co-passenger shoulder rubs and runways lit by the ethereal glow of the uplifting Alaska sun! Oh, what joy! Bethel awaits!