Alaska Airlines from Lehigh Valley International Airport to Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport

Oh, lucky you! I mean, who wouldn't want to spend entire hours, cramped in a stuffy airplane, inhaling recycled air, just to see the stunning wilderness of Alaska? The Last Frontier is calling, and Alaska Airlines is your noble steed, ready to whisk you away from the quaint charm of Lehigh Valley International Airport to the wild majesty of Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport.

Apparently, non-stop flights are too much to ask for these days. So why not enjoy the exquisitely pleasurable experience of layovers? Maybe you'll get an hour or two to bask in the glow of airport fluorescent lights somewhere like Chicago or Seattle on your way. Just consider those layovers an added bonus to your adventure, like finding two prizes in a box of Cracker Jacks.

And let's talk about the airfare. Oh, the airfare. It's like a zero-sum game, right? With flight deals here and cheap flights there. It's as if airlines are trying to lure us in with a promise of ludicrous affordability. But hey, who are we to complain about the opportunity to exchange our hard-earned money for hours of controlled turbulence and the in-flight services, which, I assure you, are akin to a five-star Michelin dining experience.

Just make sure you pack wisely, my friend. Alaska Airlines' baggage allowance rules are more like suggestions, right? Unless you're a frequent flyer part of their mileage program, and then you're treated like royalty. You get to overload every bag, suitcase, and carry-on imaginable. Okay, perhaps I’m exaggerating, but I'm sure you get the jest.

So, you're all set to book your flight. But wait, when is the best time to book, you wonder? Let me tell you: the best time to book is when everyone else isn’t. Avoid holidays, weekends, and certainly those last-minute flights that suddenly seem so enticing when you've planned everything else.

Now, I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn’t remind you of the economy class, or better yet, premium economy. Because nothing says 'Premium' like a barely-there extra inch of leg-room and the privilege of disembarking slightly earlier than the others. Or hey, splash out and go for business class, your knees will surely thank you.

And well, there’s one thing you should know about Alaska. In 1867, the U.S. bought Alaska from Russia for a mere $7.2 million. A steal, considering you probably can’t even buy a decent mansion in Beverly Hills for that price today. These days, Alaskan oil and gas reserves bring in billions. So you'll be flying towards a state that was quite a savvy business deal. Just a nugget for you to chew on as you're taking in the in-flight services and contemplating whether the free peanuts qualify as a full meal.

When chaos reigns and the worst happens, never fear, Alaska Airlines has a flight cancellation policy. Because nothing eases the sting of ruined plans quite like the implied shrug of an airline saying "Hey, at least you can reschedule... for a fee".

I hope you're now fully prepared and excited (sarcasm, my dear reader) about your prospective journey from Lehigh Valley to Anchorage. You'll be taking in the majestic sights and sounds of Alaska before you know it, regretting every minute you spent reading this instead of packing for your dream trip.