Alaska Airlines from Merle K. (Mudhole) Smith Airport to Santa Maria Public Airport

Are you planning your next vacational odyssey? Do you consider yourself an ardent lover of 'direct flights,' but without shelling a fortune? Hear ye, intrepid traveler, for I am about to unfold a tale of a journey so thrilling and fetching that the mermaids of Alaska would crave to board this ride. Set your helm from the lesser-trodden Merle K. (Mudhole) Smith Airport in Cordova, Alaska to the quaint Santa Maria Public Airport in Southern California.

A tidbit for the uninitiated: Alaska is so humongous, if you superimpose it over the mainland USA, it will span from Coast to Coast — enough to make Texas feel relatively puny. Alaska is not just your average last-minute holiday destination unless your definition of 'last-minute' is as twisted as a pretzel.

Our journey traverses across the subpolar oceanic climate of Cordova to the land kissed by the mild Mediterranean weather, traversing miles and oceans, settling the conflicts between sleep and adventure with just the right balance. But fret not. No need to be intimidated by the journey's 'flight duration,' for it is the knight in the 'cheap flights' armor, otherwise known as Alaska Airlines, that aids us in this venture.

The astute observer might add, "Nay, isn't it the round-trip that is rigorously dull and overbearing?" To this, I say, "Not so!" The 'non-stop' flightularity of ours offers such a resplendent view of the landscape that the aurora borealis would purr in envy. From the snow-capped mountains in the charm of Alaskan wilderness to the sandy beaches warmed by the California sun, the view is nothing short of a first-hand experience of a live painting.

One might argue that flights of such extravagance surely must come with harsh 'flight cancellation policies.' Alas, this assumption is almost as inaccurate as using a spork for a sword duel. Alaska Airlines, as valiant as a knight and as understanding as a best friend, promises a cancellation policy that won't leave you feeling as if you've been trampled by a herd of wild moose.

Ah, but it is not just the picturesque view and villa-like comfortable 'economy class' seats that make this airborne journey fruitful. Ask ye about the 'in-flight services?' Let it be known! The flight attendants do not merely 'attend' but cater to your every whimsical need with a heart as large as Alaska's 663,267 square miles. Every meal is a food festival, seducing your taste buds into a dance of pleasure.

And for our 'frequent flyer' lords and ladies, the 'mileage program' is nothing short of a royal feast. Stacked with rewards as numerous as the stars, one could earn enough points to almost purchase a small island in the Pacific (Accuracy of the previous statement not guaranteed).

So, gather your suitcases and match the 'baggage allowance.' Prepare yourself for a journey that would put even the most divine carnivals to shame. This flying extravaganza pays tribute to the phrase 'the best time to book is now'. So, fasten your seatbelt; embark on this airborne saga. Tell the world how you conquered the skies, from Merle K. (Mudhole) Smith Airport to Santa Maria Public Airport like a tale of its own.

I say, fare thee well, passengers, until we meet again in another tale of a journey par excellence!