Alaska Airlines from Oklahoma City to St. Cloud Regional Airport

If Lewis and Clark had been able to book flights in their time, they'd have traded their paddles for wings in a heartbeat. Just imagine, no paddling upstream, no soggy moccasins, and much-improved in-flight meals. Which gets us to our topic: flying on Alaska airlines from the sensual, BBQ scented plains of Oklahoma City to the grand, "You Betcha"-filled St. Cloud Regional Airport.

Now, if you're in the market for airfare that's greener than a Martian's cheeks, then you're in luck! With Alaska Airlines, the flights are as cool as the state's average January temperatures. However, Schlitz down a little, I will have to break some "chilling" news to you - there are no direct flights offered! C'est la vie! But every cloud (or in this case, flight) comes with a silver lining.

You'll be stopping for a layover in the 'Emerald City', a.k.a. Seattle. Here's a hot tip to share over the dinner table: bring a pack of cards or your dad's tired old jokes, just in case you need to amuse yourself during the layover. Seattle is the number one greyest city in the USA. Hope you packed your raincoat!

Sure, there are zero business class or first-class seats on these connecting flights. But in exchange, you get to enjoy the frugal thrill of an economy-class ticket – it's cheap, cheerful, and charmingly compact. Now, you might be questioning this idea of 'cheerful', but trust me, nothing instills more camaraderie between strangers than a cramped leg-space battle at 35,000 feet above ground level.

Plus, by not indulging in luxuries like extra baggage allowance, you will be learning the valuable life skill known as "how to survive with one pair of underwear for a week". Sounds fun, right?

Not to worry though, for explorers like ourselves, there's a real gold rush: Alaska Airlines offers a beneficial mileage program for the frequent flyer. And flights from Oklahoma City to St. Cloud can round up quite a few miles. So you could soon be King or Queen of the Mile-High Club, without any of the scandalous implications.

Now, here's the sweetest part of the deal: Alaska, beautiful and icy like an ex who won't return your car keys, is the only state in the USA which is allowed to hunt an animal from an airplane. Trust me, it's not a skill you'll need for your flight, but it's a nifty little fact to drop into dinner party conversation!

And while we're dropping things: It is also the airline with one of the best flight cancellation policies out there. In short, if Alaska Airlines cancels your flight, they'll either book you onto another flight for free, or refund you the ticket cost. Either way, you win!

Although, considering the cheap flights and laid-back in-flight services, you might start hoping for that cancellation. It's kinda like the lottery, only less life-changing and more schedule-altering.

Now, isn't it high time you ditched that stressed-out horse called Life and took those reins of a comfortable, steel-bodied, four-engined Pegasus for a change? Spread your wings and embrace the sky! Sure, it may not be a non-stop flight. Yes, you may spend hours cramped next to a stranger who brings their own hard-smelling cheese on board. And indeed, there are probably faster ways to travel. But if life isn't about the journey, then I don't know what is!

Safe travels, companion. May the best time to book be always in your favor, the in-flight services never lack snacks, and may your flight schedule always run smoother than a martini shaken, not stirred. Bon voyage!