Alaska Airlines from Pittsburgh to Owensboro-Daviess County Regional Airport

Oh, joy. The thrill of packing your life into a 2x3 rectangular prism, wilfully entrusting it to a group of strangers to fling onto a conveyor and praying to every deity you've ever heard of that it doesn't end up in Siberia; navigating the labyrinthine obstacle course that is airport security, where merely tying your shoelaces is an act ripe for interrogation - 'Yes, officer, I absolutely intended to strangle the pilot with my shoelaces!'; and experiencing the literal soaring heights and soul-crushing lows of air travel. All of this, dear world-weary traveller, can be yours if you choose to book a flight on Alaska Airlines from Pittsburgh to Owensboro-Daviess County Regional Airport.

Because really, who wouldn't want to spend a day hopping between international flights, developing an intimate familiarity with the beige, utilitarian world that is the inside of an airplane? And of course, having the opportunity to do it all again on the return trip! Ah, the Round-trip. Where the only thing round, is the endless cycle of disappointment. Still, at least we aren't subjected to the fresh hell that is a layover. Only a direct flight can truly capture the exquisite blend of boredom and discomfort that is the airline experience.

Keep in mind, Alaska Airlines kindly offers a red-eye flight. Fantastic! Everyone loves a good twilight jaunt across the country, paired with a garnish of sleep deprivation, and a side dish of mild anger from fellow passengers being kept awake by your ironically placed snoring. The in-flight services certainly tend to be more entertaining with the added suspense of ‘will I accidentally knock my drink onto the person next to me while struggling to keep my eyes open?’

Another boon of this journey is the boarding pass. It is a testament to the pull-no-punches approach of Alaska Airlines. A no-nonsense roster of necessary information: the flight schedule, gate number, date...and your Economy class seat. Ah, Economy class. The haven for contortionists and lovers of closely-intimate interactions with strangers. One can only hope to have brought a very small book or a very short patient sitting next to them.

But fear not! You're potentially in line to earn a few frequent flyer points for your troubles. I've heard you can exchange 5000 points for a slightly larger rectangle on the luggage conveyor. Generous, no?

Alright, let's talk Alaska. Home to the airline's namesake, it's the largest state in the USA - over twice the size, in fact, of the next largest, Texas. But boy, it must make up for it in population, right? Well, not exactly. It turns out that despite its size, Alaska is the 3rd least populous state! Join the Mileage program, maybe you’ll get an entire Alaskan village named after you after – oh, what, three, four flights?

I do have this one piece of advice though. Buy your tickets two Tuesdays ahead of your planned trip – you may just get a fight deal. Maybe even a cheap flight! I mean, even if you’re ultra-rich, why would you say no to saving a few bucks? Because, hey! More money to spend on star-shaped souvenirs or bear-shaped pastries at the airport shops, right? Aren’t we all just suckers for overpriced, random stuff?

So, dear traveller, load up your gel-sized toiletries, don your compression socks, and get ready to brave the beautifully mundane world of air travel. And remember, if at any point during your adventure you have second thoughts about your journey, just recall the glorious fact that Alaska Airlines has a practical (and I mean, very generous) flight cancellation policy.

Happy trails to you, fellow jetsetter. Or should we say – happy turbulence?