Alaska Airlines from Portsmouth International Airport at Pease to Wiley Post–Will Rogers Memorial Airport

Oh, here we are again, about to embark on yet another not-so-epic journey from Portsmouth International Airport at Pease all the way to Wiley Post–Will Rogers Memorial Airport. Because really, who doesn't love a good mileage program with an airline more known for its bears and salmon than its aviation prowess? Yes, folks, we're flying on Alaska, a premium example of elite and sophisticated transportation, without the crowds and attitudes typical of the overripe metropolises (you're welcome for saving you from deplaning into a swarm of honking taxis).

Alaska Airlines: an airline so advanced, it manages to keep those pesky direct flights to a minimum. Who wants to get to their destination as quickly as possible anyway? Instead, they gift us with a wealth of options for connecting flights even on this relatively domestic route. We travelers thrive off the unpredictability of layovers and the occasional flight cancellation policy that is much too complex to comprehend. Seriously, I insist you crumple your regular travel itinerary and launch it straight into the wastebasket.

Booking a direct non-stop flight? Ha! That's for amateurs. The veterans among us worship at the altar of round-trip, multi-airport hop scotch. Hang around in something resembling purgatory (also known as an airport terminal during a layover) for a couple of hours, where time clearly comes to die. Who wouldn't trade the anticipation of reaching their destination on time for the thrill of racing through terminals, praying to the gods of airfare deals and lost luggage?

Sure, relocating your soul to the body of a sardine crammed into an economy class seat may not sound appealing initially. But, remember, that’s how true globetrotters travel. Bursting pretentious bubbles of business class travelers etched into the world of 'first-class' privileges is our inherited destiny.

Thanks to Alaska's baggage allowance, we get to play the fun game of "How many layers can I wear to save room in my suitcase?" Not only do you get to sweat profusely as you navigate through the terminal, but when you finally land, you have an array of wardrobe choices at your immediate disposal—tucked into your ultra-compressed carry-on, of course. Could you be any more prepared?

One fascinating random fact about the state of Alaska is that it is home to over 100,000 glaciers, covering an area of 29,000 square miles. Now isn’t that ice-nice? Expect to be surrounded by icy scenery as you approach the airport—assuming you're still awake on your red-eye flight, that is.

Rocking up for a last-minute flight? Don’t fret, your unsustainable life decisions should be rewarded. Alaska Airlines is the knight in shining armor, ready to welcome procrastinating travelers in all their glory with open wings.

In-flight services here are bespokely curated: all high-quality, overpriced, and under-portioned – truly, a chance to taste what astronauts experience in space. I suggest you take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to ask yourself: why don't those tiny peanuts taste this good at sea level?

So, if you're tucked up in your sardine can - sorry, I mean 'economy class' seat, clutching your in-flight peanuts and mentally preparing for your next layover, give yourself a hearty pat on the back. You have just unlocked a whole new level of travel proficiency. Congratulations, you fine, fearless frequent flyer, and brace yourself for your next 'Ad(d)venture: Alaska'.