Alaska Airlines from Puerto Vallarta to Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport

Oh, the joys of modern travel. Nothing quite compares to being squished into a confined space with a few hundred strangers, feet swelling like balloons, and nothing but recycled air to inhale. But, lucky you, you’ve decided to subject yourself to this carnival of masochistic joy by flying from sunny Puerto Vallarta to the historic city of New Orleans. But not just any flight, oh no, you've gone bold and selected Alaska Airlines. Let us guide you through this adventure with a tone of playful reality.

First, let us alleviate the most common concern of airfare. Ever notice how those 'cheap flights' feel like a myth that old travelers mumble about around campfires, like unicorns or competent politicians? Everyone thinks they’re an illusion until you stumble onto a deal on direct flights to New Orleans, making it a reality...at least until you crunch the numbers and figure in baggage limits, seat selection, giant water bottles, and snacks that only a rabbit would find appetizing.

Alaska's baggage allowance enables you to take so much more than your dignity and personal space. Seriously, the in-flight services they offer are vast and exquisite, they even suggest you bring 'small pets' along. Imagine your teacup poodle experiencing the Mile High Club, smashing down doggie treats in premium economy. Because nothing says comfort like a nervous chihuahua nibbling on Flight biscuits in zero gravity.

Moving on to our favorite, flight duration. The non-stop flight takes about seven hours. Plenty of time to imagine all the other fun places you could visit in seven hours. But try to contain your excitement, as joy might attract the attention of your seatmate, inevitably compelling them to delve into their life story.

Now, let’s talk about perks. Alaska's mileage program provides frequent flyers with unimaginable benefits like free tickets in the future. It means if you subject yourself to enough aerial inconvenience, they'll let you do it all again, for free!

Now, a helpful tip. The best time to book your flight is typically on a Tuesday afternoon. Why, you ask? Oh, probably some complex algorithm that determines the least likely time for you to be scouring flight deals...especially last-minute flights, which, let's be honest, are more expensive and more stressful. Seriously, who wants to pay extra to anxiously pack a suitcase in a hot panic?

A quick aside about Alaska, not just the airlines, but the state itself. It's most known for being enormous, cold, and home to many a moose. Fun fact: Did you know that Alaska is the only state name that you can type on one row of a keyboard? Useful? Probably not. Interested? We bet you just checked.

As our flight journey approaches the end, let's touch on flight cancellation policies, the airline's get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s their way of saying, "we know we promised to get you somewhere at a certain time but, hey, life happens!" So, next time your flight gets canceled, just sit back in that airport lounge, take a sip of your overpriced coffee, and reflect on the marvels of flying.

In the end, flying might just be humanity's greatest achievement and worst nightmare, rolled into one. But come on, in its defense, it squeezes the world into a reachable distance and Alaska Airlines is undoubtedly one of the most proficient in doing just that.

So, for your upcoming end-to-end journey from Puerto Vallarta to New Orleans, wear your excitement on your sleeve and your patience in your pocket, because the sky isn’t just the limit, it's an open canvas of comical human existence.