Alaska Airlines from Puerto Vallarta to Palm Beach International Airport

In an unsettling display of detached irony, the rather quaint process of air travel, particularly the journey from the sun-drenched beach town of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico to the swanky shores of Palm Beach, Florida via the revered airline Alaska, is perhaps humorously best described as an adventure of epic proportions. It remains somewhat beguiling, this chronic societal addiction to confined metal cylinders soaring perilously through the sky, most notably when such reputable conveyances take the form of Alaska’s direct flights.

May we ponder momentarily upon the logistical intricacies of such flights, and in particular the delicious absurdity of business class? It represents an ingenious capitalist ruse, convincing passengers to remunerate exorbitantly for a modicum of extra leg room and the thrill of de-boarding a mere few moments prior to the unwashed masses housed in economy class. Comedy, surely.

Yet, dear dedicated traveler, one could argue that there is undeniable charm in this folly. Whilst the dedicated business class passenger basks in the glow of sheer self-importance, the frequent flyer in premium economy rejoices in the extra half inch of elbow room and the rare luxury of a meal that doesn’t taste entirely of despair.

Now, consider the phrase ‘flight duration’. A clinical way of admitting that you'll be entrapped in a cylindrical leviathan for a statistical figure of time that often holds as much value as a chocolate teapot. For instance, may one agree that the flight duration between Puerto Vallarta and Palm Beach is often wrapped in the biggest irony of all? Particularly when one considers the fact that the latter lies on the time zone famously known as the Alaska Standard Time, thereby introducing more potential for time-bending farce.

May I unveil an amusing geographical fact about Alaska now? It is whimsically alarming to learn that this U.S. state has more than twice the coastline of all the other U.S. states combined. Imagine the mileage program required for that. Alaska, despite being the ultimate paradox in the context of this discussion, is a revelation in leather-bound, aviation humor.

The curious aspect of airfare also emerges as a font of sarcasm. The economic principle of paying less for round-trip tickets than one-way tickets, for example, might be considered a modern-day marvel of mockery. How delightful an act of rebellion it might be, to procure a round-trip ticket, fully intending to jettison the return journey. Such audacious misuse of one's baggage allowance! Sublime.

Perchance, the concept of red-eye flights shall be our final morsel of contemplation in this grand circus of air-travel mockery. Cheap flights scheduled during the hour when even nocturnal creatures are nestling toward sleep. A journey of such chronology can morph even the most sophisticated traveler into a creature reminiscent of the undead - bloodshot eyes, barely coherent speech and an inexplicable craving for overpriced, in-flight coffee.

It must be conceded, that to travel, especially on the curiously haunting journey from Puerto Vallarta to Palm Beach via Alaska airlines, is to willingly take part in this grandest of comedies. A twisted tale of legroom wars, baggage juggling, institutionally-sanctioned time travel and occasional in-flight meals that defy the laws of cuisine. Such is the unmatched humor of air travel.