Alaska Airlines from Rickenbacker International Airport to Calgary

So, you're jetting off from Rickenbacker International, Columbus, Ohio, to exotic Calgary on an Alaska flight, huh? Ah yes, the thrill of the travel, the magic of an impending adventure, and the beautiful metallic can that’s going to ferry you for several hours through the sky. Here's my sarcastic guide to make your journey as faff free and less aggravating as it can be.

First off, grip the reigns of your journey and play your own travel agent henceforth. Your dabble in airfare probing starts here. You should be on the lookout for earth-shatteringly cheap flights from Alaska Airlines. Jet-set in economy class or 'Pretend-you're-royalty' by traveling in first-class because why not show up in Calgary like royalty? Or, go for the compromise of premium economy. Hard-working peasants like us surely deserve an inflight meal that doesn't resemble Silly Putty, decent legroom, and a headrest that doesn't feel like a slab of granite, no?

In case you're choosing the option of direct flights or, heaven forbid, a layover (also known as the belly of travel hell), be prepared for the torture or the absence of it. A brief note on layovers: on the bright side, you get to touch base in another city however tentatively and breathe in the recycled airport air of a location you never intended to be in. Cheers to unexpected detours!

Hunting for flight deals might be a sport in itself. In fact, there's a certain romantic aura in intimately knowing the best time to book a flight to Calgary. I mean, doesn't "18 days prior during non-peak hours" roll off the tongue with a beautiful rhythmic lilt? No? Well, who cares then? In-flight services will indeed pamper you, needless to say/beg/pray. Nevertheless, do take note of the baggage allowance because that's where the fine print usually sticks the knife in and twists it. Confusing kg and lb might just be the blunder of the year that could lead you to pay a steep price. You wouldn't want to be that gullible globetrotter laboring with excess luggage at the airport, right?

We cannot overlook the flight cancellation policy. You know, in case you wouldn't have to make this voyage after all or if the cosmos has other plans to amuse itself. It is as intricate and convoluted as an episode of 'The X-Files'. Have fun figuring it out without losing your mind! For the 'frequent flyer' programs, don’t you just love the cryptic point systems that build up rewards as substantial as a pencil nib over a span of twenty flights or more? Exciting isn't it?

Now, just for kicks, remember, you’re not only flying with a company named after America's largest state but also a place home to the most glorious beasts on Planet Earth - the mosquito! That’s right, Alaska, wild, serene, and host to swarms of mosquitos so mighty they have been rumored to carry away small pets. Nothing like a fun, random fact to brighten your day!

Hoping against all cynicism, this sarcastic overview leads you delightfully onto your intercity adventure and helps you in skipping around the wearisome trip of dealing with airlines but instead finding joy in the smaller things like complimentary peanuts and a window view of the comforting wing of your aircraft. Just remember, adventure may hurt but monotony can kill!