Alaska Airlines from San Francisco to Bangor International Airport

Well, isn't this just what you've been dreaming of, embarking on an adventure from the sun-drenched, tech-saturated haven of San Francisco to the wild, untamed wilderness that is... Bangor, Maine. Grab your selfie stick and artisanal coffee, we're going on a trip, courtesy of Alaskan Airlines. Dare we even call it an odyssey?

Now, you're probably thinking Alaskan Airlines only flies to Alaska, because naming conventions simply must rule our every perception, but surprise - they fly to Bangor too! Literally coast-to-coast in all the glory of domestic flights. What's next, elephants that can't remember or dogs that only meow?

You'll be delighted to learn that Alaskan provides some charming uniformity in the universe with their non-stop flights. Now, please don't confuse this with direct flights, it's nothing so mundane. Non-stop means you're free from the torture of human interaction at obscure airport lounges during that dreaded layover. Just your derriere in an economy class seat from start to finish. Essentially, it's the flying version of witnessing two seasons of your favorite series on Netflix without hitting pause. Ah, the marvels of modern aviation.

And Alaskan Airlines isn’t just stopping at non-stop (oh, the irony). Their in-flight services includes goodies like Wi-Fi for only a ten-dollar ransom. Because who wouldn't pay for the luxury of posting a live stream of cloud formations? You could try striking a conversation with your seat mate, but let's be honest, that's so last century.

Oh, and here's a novel concept, the airline has a mileage program, ingeniously named the Mileage Plan. Groundbreaking, isn't it? I mean, who doesn't love the chance to hoard miles so you can repeat this incredible round-trip adventure over and over and over...

Moving on to the delightful baggage allowances. After all, this is the pivotal concern of modern air travel. Are we not all just seeking validation for our tendency to over pack? With Alaskan Airlines, you merely have to part with your 30 dollars for the first bag, 40 for the next and 100 for each extra bag. It's like a retail sale gone wrong- the more you buy, the more it costs! Rejoicing in the knowledge that your winter jumpers and rain boots are well worth that hefty price tag sure beats the boring predictability of cheap flights.

Did I mention the time you'll spend on this divine journey from San Francisco to Bangor? Saddle up for a scrumptious 5 hours 45 minutes of flight duration, journeying across the globe, well across the U.S. but who's really pickin'?

Now I can't let you go without imparting some fascinating trivia about the state of Alaska, can I? After all, Alaska is the airline's namesake. Did you know that Alaska has over 3,000 rivers and 3 million lakes? Well, there you have it, your impressive quota of geography trivia that you didn't know you needed.

So, fasten your seatbelts, San Francisco - here's to five hours and forty-five minutes of pure leg-numbing travel bliss to Bangor. Remember it's not about the destination, it's the journey that counts. And what a journey it will be!