Alaska Airlines from San Francisco to Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport

Detachable wings, polar bear co-pilots and pilots equipped with thermos flasks full of Alaska's finest clam chowder - oh! The raw, unapologetic thrill of Alaskan aviation. To all who are gearing up to take this flight from the hipster-laden boulevards of San Francisco to the jazz-infused streets of New Orleans, hold on to your overpriced latte or gumbo, because we are going on quite a ride.

Now, you can't start a journey on the right foot, or wing in our case, without talking about the ‘Flights’. Every self-respecting traveler knows that all flights are not born equal. Some whiz across the continental skyline like a lightning bolt – the non-stop kind, while others are creatures of whimsy, drop by a city or two for a 'layover' and que sera sera! Their lackadaisical temperament earns them the name 'connecting flights'. Ironic, isn't it? They connect more with pitstops than with passengers. But hey, who am I to judge?

Speaking of whims and fancies, don't let anyone yammer about the ‘Best time to book’. There was a time when folks across the Pacific Northwest would diligently open their Farmer's Almanacs to decipher the best time to book a flight. How very medieval, one wonders! Today, we live in the world of 'Last-minute flights' where spontaneity is the ticket to airfare gold.

A kind word of advice for prayerful souls and fickle-hearted romantics: Brace yourselves, because a flight from San Francisco to New Orleans can feel longer than the mourning period after a particularly sorrowful Lousiana Saints game. Pay no heed to the number-peddlers who count 'Flight Duration' in minutes. When your plane glides above the sprawling Alaskan landscape, grappling with aerial gale and gravity, principles of time and space seem to hibernate - much like the Alaskan grizzly bears. And speaking of Alaska, here's a tidbit that will coax a chuckle out of you. Did you know that roughly over 70% of Alaska is not accessible by road? It's an aviophobic's worst nightmare and an aerial adventurer's wildest dream!

We mustn't leave 'Airfare' out of our gabfest. Since money can’t grow on the wings, it's practical to have a discussion around it. Forget the old wives' tales of raiding every obscure flight comparison site in the dead of the night for 'Cheap flights'. Rookies rant about them, and real travelers tip their fedoras to ‘Flight deals’. In the venerable realm of savvy globetrotters, patience is not only a virtue but also an open secret to snagging the juiciest airfare deals.

As we step into the plane, we swap our commoner roles for a royal one. A brief foray into the world of 'Economy Class' wouldn’t be amiss. Think of it as the bohemian bourgeoisie. The culture is eclectic, space—an enchanting ballet of knees, elbows, and overpriced snack trays. On the other end of the spectrum, the 'First-class', is idyllic paradise and ostentatious extravagance rolled into one. Here, champagne towers over clouds, and plush pyjamas fade 'In-flight services' into insignificance. The dear 'business class' straddles the middle, providing unrivaled comfort without the gaud of gold.

In conclusion, the key to making your San Francisco to New Orleans flight memorable lies not in the 'Direct flights' or in the 'Round-trip' patterns, but in venturing into realms others dare not to—the satirical, the delightful, and the downright absurd! Buckle up, because Alaska is ready to take you on a flight of fantasy!