Alaska Airlines from Santa Maria Public Airport to Fort Myers, FL

So, you've drawn the long straw and landed yourself a ticket to dreamy Fort Myers, Florida all the way from humble Santa Maria Public Airport. Nice one! Now you're sitting there flicking through websites faster than I flip pancakes, hunting for that elusive golden ticket – the cheap flight. Well my friend, your knight in shining armor has arrived, and fun fact, he's from the northernmost state. You ever heard of Alaska?

Yep, Alaska as in the state where you'd have a single, solitary day of sunshine if you happened to be kicking loose in Barrow, during summer? That's our fun fact of the day, folks. But I digress. Let's flex those expert booking muscles and weigh up our options, so you can jet your merry way from Santa Maria to Florida, quicker than you can say "round-trip".

You've got three options at your disposal: the Red-eye flight if you’re one of those weirdos who can sleep through the sound of the apocalypse; some cool and breezy one-way; or the classic elegance of the round-trip. Each of these scrumptious possibilities comes decked in four eloquent classes: business, economy, premium economy, and first-class. If you're into spending more time hanging in the air than a circus trapeze artist, you might fancy a couple of connecting flights. If not, non-stop is your friend. Your new best friend.

Gone are the days of forking over your life savings for airfare. Seriously, you're better off saving that dough for something worthwhile, like a collection of hotel pens or, you know, food. Remember, our aim isn't just any old direct flights, but the cheap flights. And hey, last-minute flights aren't off the table either; sometimes the best flight deals are the ones we least expect, like finding an extra nugget in your fast-food takeout.

Care to know the best time to book, or are you too busy packing your 12th pair of flip flops? Apparently (and don't ask me 'cause I'm just the messenger here) the price of flights are as erratic as a rabbit on caffeine. But between you and me, they tend to dip on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. Wink, wink.

Now, what in-flight services are you craving? Fancy a connoisseur’s collection of soda drinks served with a meager bag of peanuts? Or are you thinking more luxurious; sinking your teeth into semi-warm, tin-foiled mystery meals? Everything's game here, you brave culinary adventurer.

What was that? Oh, you need to cancel your flight because Aunt Muriel changed her mind about dog-sitting? Well, you'd want to be up-to-date with the flight cancellation policy. Ain’t nobody got time for unexpected charges raining on your sun-soaked parade.

Frequent flyers, have you met our pal, the mileage program? No? Well, it's time for introductions. This little gem could see you bedazzling your friends with epic tales of free flights and upgrades. What a groundbreaking way to transform your humble bum-sitting adventures into an excuse to conquer the skies and return, laden with stories and flyer miles.

Every domestic flight tells a tale, every journey a new chapter in the book of life. So, as you gawk at the flight schedule and wonder if you remembered to pack your sponge bob pajamas, remember, this isn't just any old journey. No sir, this is an opportunity, a moment of growth. Or at least, a moment to grow your collection of stolen hotel pens...