Alaska Airlines from Seattle to Appleton International Airport

Ah, the joys of flying. Nothing quite matches the thrill of being in a cramped, stuffy metal tube hurtling through the sky at hundreds of miles per hour. And, if you were planning on embarking on such a thrill ride from the gusty city of Seattle to the chilly grassroots of Appleton International Airport, what better way to do it than with Alaska Airlines? Surely, the name alone assures us of a chilly but ethereal journey.

Direct flights? Pah, they're for lightweights, my dear friends. No, my good sir/madam, you must savor the exquisite pleasure that comes with connecting flights. You get to touch down in myriad exciting, nondescript airports, each with their unique brand of pre-packaged sandwich and bottled water marked up to a kidney's worth.

Or perhaps you would prefer a layover? Ah, yes. The true test of a seasoned traveler. Can you survive six hours in Denver with only a phone charger and the faint hope of functional airport Wi-Fi? We shall see, brave adventurer, we indeed shall see.

Now, of course, there’s the ever-tantalizing option of the 'one-way' ticket. Naturally, this is best kept for those escape-the-heat-of-the-moment decisions. The downside, of course, being that you may be leaving behind things like your home, job, and social life. But no worries, because, hey, Appleton has some rockin’ cheese curds, and isn’t that all one truly needs?

Now let’s talk about the 'economy class,' which much like its societal namesake, seems to be the lot of the common man. You get the privilege to sit in a space that a sardine would call cozy, enjoy the challenge of consuming a meal in a space smaller than your average computer keyboard or doing the Macarena in the bathroom.

In-flight services, you ask? Well, count on a lovely reminder of how seatbelts work. Never knew that, did you, frequent flyer points hoarder? Plus, the countless interruptions advising us that the 'fasten seatbelts' sign is on, just when we're on the edge of sleep. It's like they say; the voice of the flight crew shall lead us not into slumber, or something like that.

Shall we discuss the flight cancellation policy then? It's essentially a ready-to-go excuse to stay in that far-from-home paradise a little longer. You almost have to admire the airline's subtle hint: why rush back to real life when you can enjoy another 24 hours of overpriced hotel mini-bar goodies?

An important note about Alaska Airlines: remember, the name doesn't denote the flight path. Don’t get your knickers in a twist pondering why your route to Wisconsin involves passing the Arctic Circle. However, to keep you in the spirit of the airline name, here’s a fun fact about Alaska for you; it’s known as "The Last Frontier" because of its opportunities and untouched resources. They are kind of like the untouched pretzels and soda that will be served to you at 40,000 feet.

So tighten your seatbelt, brace for the turbulence of adventure, and let’s glide on the wings of Alaska Airlines. Let’s face it, you’re going to have one heck of a story to tell at the water cooler back at the office - whether about the guy who snored audaciously next to you or the taste of ginger ale at high altitudes or the escapade of having to sprint from gate A17 to gate Z38 during a 20-minute layover. Bon, voyage!