Alaska Airlines from St. Louis to Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport

Oh, the joy of air travel! There's nothing quite so thrilling as contorting your body into those generously spacious economy class seats. And now, you've chosen to fly from the exciting land of toasted ravioli, St. Louis, to the extravagant bourbon-soaked wonderland of Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport. The grandeur!

First, let's talk about your options for this epic journey. You might think the fastest option would be a sleek, non-stop flight straight to your destination. You, my friend, should consider a career in stand-up comedy. However, Alaska Airlines, in their infinite wisdom, gift us with only the luxurious round-trip layover flight and one-way flights. Perhaps it's their way of easing us into the sweeping excitement that is air travel!

Now, Alaska Airlines have a stellar reputation for their in-flight services. Truly, it's as if we've entered into an alternate universe where airline food has won Michelin stars, and plastic cutlery is the epitome of fine dining cutlery. As you recline in your cosy economy class seat, sipping a delightful airplane red wine, just remember to pinch yourself. Yes, all of this is real.

Timing your flight booking, oh rookie traveler, is an art. The airline industry would love to convince you that the best time to book is about three months before departure. But why bother planning ahead? Embrace spontaneity and pick up one of those heart-racing last-minute flights. The adrenaline rush as you scramble to pack and find your passport is worth the inflated airfare, surely.

A random tidbit about the wonderful state of Alaska! You've probably thought this magnificent state has just one time zone, like the ordinary majority of states. But no, Alaska spreads itself thin across not one, but two time zones! What more can you ask from the airline that proudly bears its name?

When in doubt about Alaska's commitment to making your flight a memorable experience, consider the services they inconvenience upon the noble business class flyers. A separate line at airport security, expedited baggage handling and complimentary cocktails... they're really pushing the boat out. After all, nothing screams 'business' quite like an 11am mimosa!

And let us not forget about Alaska Airlines' baggage allowance policy – trundling out your entire double wardrobe (steamer trunk included) to the airport is not just allowed, but it's encouraged of course! For all those who have a deep affection for excess baggage fees, this is the airline for you.

We could wax lyrical about the joys of Alaska's frequent flyer mileage program too! There's nothing quite like racking up those hard-earned miles, only to discover that the blackout dates conveniently align with the only days you can actually fly. It is truly delightful!

The contentious topic of flight cancellation policy: surely a highlight of your flying experience! Like a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean, it offers an unpredictable thrill. Will it be a full refund or, perhaps, a fantastic voyage through countless email threads and hold music that sure sounds a lot like Vivaldi's Four Seasons?

Take heart! Despite these loving jests, Alaska Airlines does have a solid reputation for customer service. So, pack your bags (within the baggage allowance, you rebel), buckle up, and get ready for a journey filled with in-flight sandwiches, lost-in-translation safety demonstrations, and the opportunity to amaze your friends with the sweeping tale of your layover in Chicago. Happy flying!