Alaska Airlines from Wichita Dwight D. Eisenhower National Airport to Milwaukee

Oh, sure, because when you think "aspirational travel destination," your mind immediately jumps to Milwaukee, right? Don't worry, you're definitely not alone there. In fact, many globe-trotting, thrill-seeking voyagers find themselves laying out the plans for an epic journey from -wait for it- Wichita Dwight D. Eisenhower National Airport to the bustling metropolis of Milwaukee. Alaska Airlines has answered the call of those seeking such an unparalleled adventure with an array of "flights" so exciting, they almost make up for the fact that you're, well, traveling to Milwaukee.

Now, in-flight services on Alaska Airlines will have you half-believing you've spontaneously upgraded to business class - in your dreams, that is. From the overly friendly flight attendants who seem to be on a first-name basis with a half-dozen invisible friends on board, to the in-flight meals that you'd swear were catered by a team of gastronomically misguided celebrity chefs, you're in for quite a unique inflight experience.

You're probably thinking "Direct flights sound like heaven right about now", but oh no! Alaska Airlines dares to defy your expectations of convenience with the irresistible offer of connecting flights. Sign me up! Because if there's one thing every savvy traveler knows, it's that spending a few extra hours killing time in an airport is the high point of any trip. And the irresistible part, you most certainly stand a chance to get intimately acquainted with airport lounges across America. What’s boredom again?

Now if you're part of the frequent flyer club, bless your heart, Alaska has you covered there too. Their mileage program sure is something - every flight carries you one tiny notch closer to a redeemable reward. Why not set your sights on that complimentary upgrade to economy class for your round-trip flight in 2075? Look at you, living the high life!

But wait, let's not forget Alaska's baggage allowance policy. Talk about bonding, you and your luggage will be inseparable the whole trip. Of course, this is hardly surprising, given that Alaska measures baggage allowance with microscopic precision and indiscriminate excess baggage fees. Resistance is futile, folks.

In the spirit of staying on theme with Alaska, here is a truly captivating nugget of trivia for you: Alaska has a law that states it's illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting. Ah, such essential wisdom, rivaling even the importance of knowing Alaska Airline's flight cancellation policy which, spoiler alert, can be as elusive as the Northern Lights. But hey, isn’t it fun to live on the edge?

For all you last-minute planners out there, rest assured Alaska has a cool variety of flight deals to choose from. And by 'cool', I mean as unpredictable as the Wisconsinite weather itself. Who knew procuring last-minute flights could be as adrenaline-inducing as a Michael Bay flick?

On a more serious note, don’t forget the best time to book is during airplane mating season, when all the wild airliners have successfully found partners and departed from the airports, leaving behind the domesticated ones for eager travelers.

If you're still reading at this point, you've just survived the sarcastic guide to flying on Alaska from Wichita Dwight D. Eisenhower National Airport to Milwaukee. Impressive! The real experience is surely chock full of distinctive details that I’ve not so subtly glossed over. So, ready to pack those bags or shall we discuss the riveting chronicle of international flights next?