Alaska Airlines from Wrangell Airport to Hector International Airport

Oh, look at you! Ready to trade the riveting views of Wrangell, Alaska - the great outdoors' chilly equivalent of a cozy blanket with a hot cup of cocoa - for the audaciously flat and overwhelmingly rectangular sights of Hector International Airport. Really? You should pat yourself for bravery, my friend!

You have probably scoured the corners of the internet looking for the best "flight deals," haven't you? Bless your heart, traveling Alaska to North Dakota isn't like picking out a hipster's instant coffee from the Whole Foods aisle. It’s an epic saga with ‘one-way’ and ‘round-trip’ tales of gritty travel warriors like you.

Here is a fun fact about Alaska for you: Alaska's coastline extends over 6,640 miles, which is longer than all the other U.S. state coastlines combined. Now try getting that out of your mind before the in-flight safety demo. Fasten the seatbelt low and tight, remember?

Ah, the ‘flights’ over Alaska's coast and the majestic mountains will dangle in front of your eyes like Carrot on a stick. Such a shame those inflatables they call airplanes don't come with open roofs - flying with Alaska Airlines could've been as Instagrammable as a Parisian escape had they thought it through.

Your best shot is to book a 'direct flight.' Because who in their right mind would choose ‘connecting flights’ when they can have the shorter ‘flight duration’ and the thrill of drifting in and out of sleep while avoiding knocking off the passenger's shoulder next to them? But none of us are really running for a quickie Instagram slideshow of us, 'Frequent flyer’ award winners. Let’s acknowledge the reality here, we are just trying to agonize over the ‘flight cancellation policy’ a little less.

Speaking of flight cancellations, let us highlight Alaska Airlines' delightful system. Do you know that a weather disturbance smaller than a squirrel's hiccup can send your travel plans haywire? Buckle up for the roller coaster ride of last-minute flight changes, dear traveler. At least they appreciate the adrenaline rush, don’t they?

Kudos to the tireless desk agents! They handle it all with iron-cast patience and a plastered smile that would put the Joker to shame. Oh, and don't forget the star attractions: the tireless attendants holding out meals and sodas, on what - let us accept - is a glorified bus service.

As for your royal highness's "Baggage allowance," did you honestly think they'd let you bring your whole bedroom on board? Remember, it is not the space station where floatation happens! If you don't want to sell a kidney and still avail 'First-Class,' you might want to slim down that suitcase to a tiny thing that fits under the depressingly narrow seats. Or, perhaps you prefer 'Premium Economy' for their extra legroom?

Have you tasted the 'in-flight services' before? It’s particularly amusing how they manage to squeeze a pantry into a can of sardines. Even Houdini would've thrown in the towel, my friend!

So here's to you, daring voyager, deciding to journey from Wrangell to Hector International. May the flights be smooth, the layovers be minimal, and the 'airfare' be cheap. Because trust me, trips like these aren’t for the faint of heart or the faint of wallet!

Don’t forget to intrigue your fellow passengers with the random fact of Alaska’s coastline. Who knows, you might end up making friends compelled by the humorously sarcastic person that you are. Safe travels, oh gallant one!